Winner, winner, chicken dinner. For the benefit of my own ego, I will give myself this virtual pat on the back.
I wrote 59,000 words in the month of November, as part of National Novel Writing Month. That’s around 200 pages, give or take on the font. It’s not that good, but I’ve sure as hell come up with a few ideas for how to make it better, which I’ll be doing soon. I actually need to finish the book. I’m about 95% done. But, for the purposes of NaNoWriMo, anyone that writes 50k+ words is a “winner” so goooo me. Says nothing about the quality of content, but I think when it’s done (which will likely be in several months… yay editing and re-writes!) it’ll be liked by at least… three people. That’s right, I am making the bold claim that there will be at least three people besides myself who like more than they dislike (which technically counts as “liking” something) the book that I just finished writing. Once I’m done editing and rewriting parts of it, that is. I hope that you all hold my feet to the fire on this one. Don’t let me get out of my lofty goal.
All joking aside, it’s been a crazy experience. I swear I’ve only used the thesaurus maybe a dozen times, the dictionary dozens more, and I am going to go donate some money to wikipedia after this post because being able to look up articles on things like the nyc subway was invaluable to adding little references to things that I’ve never even seen. Google street view is awesome, too. Like I mentioned in a post the other day, I feel so lucky to live in this unprecedented age of technology. Every generation likes to feel like they’re special, and we do have many similarities to those who have lived and died before us, but we really do live in a remarkable era, absolutely unparalleled by any other time in all of history.
I think a lot about what caused my dad to do what he did, and I believe a lot of it was a loss of hope. It’s how he and I will always differ, because I (despite all my bitching and criticism) am an optimist. I believe that things will work out. Right now, we’re at this weird point where we’ve had a vast rush of technology, and our sense of ethics, our idea of responsibility, hasn’t caught up. We’ll get there. And if not, the planet will still be here. It will survive.
When I die, I believe that my conscious existence will completely cease. Some will remember me. They too will eventually die. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to do something worthy of being remembered. Some day, even that will fade into obscurity. Regardless of how long I am remembered, or how quickly forgotten, the atoms that compose my current existence– what I believe is all that I am– will persist for a very long time. I take comfort in that.
I went on a tangent. Something I do. You just have to put up with it. I blame the blog-as-confessional thing I had going in October.